Why would a woman choose to engage in sex with multiple partners? I’m sure your mother, everyone else and their brother, can give you the reasons why NOT. So could I, to be honest. Like anything else in life it comes with its own set of risks. We are all way too aware of many of them.
What’s funny, is that rarely do we see the other side of the spectrum. Hardly anyone wants to admit that there might actually be BENEFITS to having lots of friends with benefits! Never fear, Dr. Lovergirl is here, with a little alternative medicine that might actually be good for your mental health!
Just clear your mind for a minute and forget about all of society’s scare tactics. Let all your fears and anxieties melt away. Yes, I know you are afraid of getting emotionally attached, being judged by others, and especially of how men might treat you. Those are all real and legitimate concerns, but remember, there is someone in control here and it’s not “others”, it’s YOU.
What information you share with other people and what type of treatment you accept from men is entirely up to you to decide. Emotional attachments happen to the best of us, and even to men. They often take us by surprise, yet here’s the catch…having a bevy of men to fall back on can actually HELP to deal with those difficult emotions!
You know its going to happen, right? If you are human, and especially if you are female, you are probably going to develop feelings for some or all of the men you have sex with. I’m not going to lie, nor am I going to tell you that it’s something you necessarily need to avoid. What I will say, is that is exactly why it’s great to have some of those other men around. Because if you fall hard for a guy and are stuck solely on him, it can be a hell of a lot harder to get past when things go south or he doesn’t feel the same way.
So that’s reason #1. With a harem of men at your beck and call, there is always someone to come and rescue a damsel in distress over a distressing relationship. Men LOVE to play the hero and comforter when a boyfriend’s gone bad. They are all too happy to have you cum over again and again to “feel better.” (See how I did that? 😉 )
Reason #2- What to do on a Saturday night? Or Monday morning? Or maybe Tuesday over your lunch break? Or you know, whenever you have a moment of free time on your schedule. Hummmm…scroll down the list of guys who have texted wanting you to come over today and pick one! Guaranteed there is almost always SOMEONE! We have it way easier than men in that regard because they are usually the ones pushing to set something up. Even if the guy you’ve been daydreaming about hasn’t bothered, you can hit him up and if he’s busy, there’s always a backup!
Reason #3- It helps you to be pickier about men and how they treat you. If one of them isn’t doing you right, it’s a lot easier to drop him than if you have to worry about being alone and without sex and human connection for awhile. It can actually RAISE your standards, as well as push men to be on better behavior. Even if they DON’T know you are seeing other men, they will feel in your vibe how easy it is to let them go and that forces them to step up their game. Incidentally, this works the same way in the bedroom. Men are ultra competitive by nature and knowing or “feeling” there might be another guy in the mix makes them work all that much harder (hee, “harder”).
Reason #4- Speaking of sex, being with multiple men allows you to get multiple needs met at the same time. Met a great guy in so many ways, but for some reason he never goes down on you? It’s just a tad bit more tolerable when you can go home and call the man who does it like a champ! Then there’s that guy who’s great in bed but never takes you out to do anything fun? No worries! There is another great guy behind him who is happy to treat you to dinner, maybe he’s lacking in some other way but that’s okay because you are getting it from every direction and every angle already!! 😉
Reason #5- Variety is not only the spice of life, it’s also a great teacher. Experiencing sex and intimacy with different men, helps YOU to become a better lover. People talk about how complex and different women are in their sexual needs, but they rarely mention that the same is true for men. The type of blowjob that works for one, may not work for another. Some men want you to say, lick their nipple as they are thrusting to help bring them to climax. Another guy hates it. Some want total submission and others expect a more active role from you. Learning the different sexual needs of men is eye opening and helps give you ideas for the next one too!
Reason #6- While you are learning all these different men’s sexual styles, you are also learning about your own! Some men will push boundaries that others won’t and each one shows you a little more about what you like and don’t like. Knowing your own body and what feels good, is a wonderful type of self discovery. It helps you to enjoy sex more overall.
Reason #7- It’s good for your ego. Knowing and seeing that a bunch of men find you sexy and beautiful and FEELING it in their constant desire for you is a real confidence booster. To think that once upon a time I was just SURE that no man would ever want me again after my ex-husband, because I’d had children and thought my body was less than perfect. So many men since have made me feel like an absolute goddess naked! If some man IS critical then it will be so much easier to just move on past it.
Reason #8- You don’t have to put on a facade. At least with some of the men, the cool ones who are okay with you sleeping with others (you should have at least one, maybe a couple of those) you can express your honest desires without fear of running him off…because if they do run off it’s really not such a big deal (see reason #1). Plus, they are more likely to show you THEIR real thoughts and feelings when their guard and need to impress is dropped. Sometimes that can be really helpful in understanding the men you DO fall in love with.
Reason #9- It’s time efficient. Well, it can be. Sometimes serious relationships can eat up all your time and emotional energy. Someone you can call in a jiffy for a quickie can be a lifesaver when you feel like you have no time to devote to the work of an actual committed relationship and just want to get laid!! You do have to be careful to keep a balance because more men can equal a lot of pressure to meet up all the time, but if you play your cards right it can be LESS stressful.
Reason #10- It helps YOU to be a better woman with all of them! You are less needy, less anxious and less drama prone because you aren’t pinning all of your hopes on one man alone. The losers are quickly weeded out because you have a standard to compare them to and don’t have time or energy to waste, with all of your better prospects waiting in the wings.
If life is like a box of chocolates, then sometimes we have to eat several of them to decide which one we really like. Then we eat some more until we find another one like it. Maybe people tell us not to eat them all, or to only eat one, but we feel more satisfied when we have sampled several different candies. That doesn’t mean we have to eat the whole damn box, but indulging in a little luxury once in awhile can be a glorious experience to remember.