Stop Making Men Shitty!

By Cougarbaby


I am so sick of listening to women complain about shitty men!!

His beard is gross…he dresses like a homeless person…he’s always late…he’s always blowing me off…all he wants is sex…he’s getting fat…he drinks too much…he won’t introduce me to his friends…he’s selfish in bed…he won’t share his life with me…and on and on and on. UGH!

Here’s an idea. STOP FUCKING SHITTY MEN. And guess what else? IT IS YOUR FAULT that men are shitty. You have trained and conditioned them to be this way. Women today are so desperate to have a man that they settle. Standards have become ridiculously low. Men are simple. And lazy. And kinda stupid. But brilliant with it. They have figured out that they can be shitty and still get laid. Whoa. Now it’s on.

How to fix it? I’m torn between two old catch phrases: “Stop using sex as a weapon” and “Why (should he) buy the cow when he gets the milk for free?” We, as women, need to find a happy medium. We also need to be happier with ourselves and less reliant on a relationship. When you realize you are strong and happy all on your own, you will be better equipped to make good dating decisions.

When you are confident and self-reliant you will see men (and the usually obvious red flags) more clearly. The strong and confident among you will say, “Let’s see, he showed up late and is dressed sloppily” …or…”he didn’t hold the door for me or stand to greet me” …or…”he got hammered at our first meeting. Nope. No effort. No respect. No consideration for me. Lemon law dude. I’m out. Buh bye.” You leave, and he goes home alone. No sex for him! If this happens often enough, they will learn. I promise!

What is your biggest dating pet peeve? Or your “deal breaker” red flag? Mine is when a guy refuses to call me on the phone and asks me out, for the very first time, via text. Maybe it is because I come from a pre-texting era, but I don’t think so. It’s just so lazy and gutless. I want to know that I am important enough for him to step outside his comfort zone and put in a little effort. I also want to know that he isn’t too much of a chickenshit to face possible awkwardness or rejection.

Pick up the phone. Call me up. Speak to me, in full sentences…almost as if we are both grown-ups!! Plus, this way (as I described in my online dating articles) you get a lot more information that texts can’t provide. Is he too stupid to string together full sentences? Does he have a voice like Mike Tyson or Kermit the Frog? Is everything he says disagreeable to you? Etc. If any of these are true over the phone, then it is pretty much guaranteed that it will not be better in person. Now you’ve saved yourself the time and hassle of another bad date. You’re welcome.

So anyway, I don’t care how horny you are. Get a vibrator or rub one out or eat chocolate. Whatever. Deal with it. But don’t bang just to bang. Don’t date just to date. Make him earn it. Make him work for it. Make him respect you. Make him treat you well. It’ll be better all around. It will be better for you. It will be better for the next woman. It will be better for EVERYONE. And here’s a little extra incentive. The sex will be better too! Boom.




  1. @Cougarbaby
    I love how in your face your writing is. Women are culpable in making men shitty and I my pet peeve is your pet peeve. Call me, have some convo, so I can have a better idea of your vibe.

  2. I agree that sometimes women contribute to bad behavior in men. Think of all the men that suck in bed because women fake orgasms. Just stop it already! :p
    As far as calling on the phone though, I don’t care a lot about that. I have to admit I’m not a big fan of talking on the phone before meeting a guy. It’s kind of an annoyance to me. Mainly, because I have a lot of kids and trying to escape to a quiet space to talk and where little ears aren’t listening is difficult. If I try to hide out in the bathroom or something, someone inevitably comes banging on the door.
    So, I’ll happily take the guys that just text and don’t call very often. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I’m easy prey for married men, but I’m rarely available to talk on the phone. Don’t even try to get me to have phone sex with you either, ugh.
    I agree though that if a guy is doing things that irritate you all the time, there is no reason to keep him around. He’s not going to change (as mentioned in a previous article) and there are a zillion more men out there.
    Be careful of expecting perfection though, because no one can attain it. You just have to decide which behaviors you can and cant live with and not expect a guy to change for you. Don’t sleep with him if he’s not turning you on and ticking your boxes, because THAT you will regret.

  3. I’m around your age and dating a 26 yeah old who is perfect in every way with the exception of Duck Dynasty tendencies. He’s a big masculine guy, but also intellectual, how do train him to be clean shaven without crushing his masculinity and making him think it’s his idea?

  4. @Anon
    That’s a tough one. I don’t look twice at men with beards because I hate them so much, so I’ve never had to try to get some wood to shave. Your best bet of course is to tell him how much you dislike it and just ask him to shave. I have heard of women doing the whole “what’s good for the goose” retaliation. That just means you stop shaving an essential part of your body until he gives in. Probably that won’t work though, because men really don’t care.
    There’s lots of literature online about how beards promote premature balding, harbor germs, etc. Show him that.
    Good luck! Let us know how it goes and which method worked.

  5. Darn this teeny tiny comment box. It makes it really hard to proofread before posted. Obviously the above should read someone, not some wood.

  6. Are you into vibrators or chocolate? Because I really think getting laid is better.

    I’ll give you my male point of view. If you want your man to be clean shaven, you have two ways. The nice one is to tell him that he’s handsome while clean shaven. If it doesn’t work, find a young and hot guy, get yourself laid, tell it to your guy, and when he asks you why you banged him answer that he was clean shaven. If he doesn’t get it, dump him, he’s stupid.

    Also, most people are bad in bed. And I mean people. If sodomy is the top of your game chances are that you are. So why would you ask your man to be better than you are? First improve your level, he will have to keep up the pace. Or you will find good lovers while learning.

    And being demanding is one of the worst trait of personality you can have. It shows emotional dependency, lack of confidence, …. And worse, it tells your man you find him shitty (I often keep my socks in bed, if the girl realises it I know I’m doing it wrong). Just stop being demanding. If your guy is not worth it, find another one. If you stop scanning your dates, you can have a different man in your bed every week easily. That’s 52 tests per year, you should quickly find one who suits all your needs. And THAT would be better for everyone!

  7. Um… wow. Where’s the honor for the man? How about love him for who he is? And “men don’t care if you shave?” Really? I certainly do. And no, you’re not going to blackmail me into shaving my beard. As a matter of fact, trying to blackmail me and not honor who I am is MY red flag. Buh-bye.

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