I am currently in a fb relationship in which both of us are in relationships. We have had sex 3 times since November, and do not communicate outside of scheduling our next meeting. We always meet in a hotel and he pays for it. We have a couple drinks, have awesome sex, drink some more and talk about stuff that has happened since we last met, have sex again and then part ways until one of us sends an invitation.
I want to talk to him in between, but don’t want to come off as needy or clingy so I don’t pursue him as I truly do like him. I have this thought in my head that we should meet more than that or at least talk once on awhile, but am I wrong for thinking that considering the situation? Also, do you think I am just a object to him and not much else??
Here’s what I’m getting from you on this, this arrangement is working for you. I’m not hearing a woman who really *wants* more, just one who feels a little uncomfortable (or maybe uncertain) of whether she’s being valued appropriately. So, here’s what I’d suggest:
Don’t ask for more time or attention – that’s pointing this dude at one particular solution to how you’re feeling that isn’t even really what it sounds like you want. If you like him, there’s a good chance he likes you too – so it might make sense to just articulate how you feel:
“Hey, you know, this is cool, but I’m not used to being with someone and having it be purely physical and it’s making me feel a little weird. I’m not looking to complicate this, but I like feeling like if circumstances were different, you’d have liked just hanging out with me.”
Hopefully he’ll know what to say to that.