You’ve got your profile set up and you have been emailing. Now it’s time to actually start meeting these guys. How best to go about it? Here’s what works for me:
You have already determined what you are looking for via email, right? Hook-up, relationship, friends, whatever? Good. If not, do so.
Once you know you are both in it for the same thing, I always recommend talking to them on the phone. NOT TEXT. Email to text is such a lateral move and really tells you very little about the guy. You can’t get any inflection or mood via text message. Talking on the phone is important and a great time saver. What if he has a voice like Mike Tyson or Kermit the Frog? No! What if he’s a total potty mouth or he can’t get a sentence out without an annoying habit like, “Ya know what I mean?” or “I hear ya” or or or….? You can’t always tell if someone is stupid or an asshole via email/text. You definitely can on the phone. Think of all the time you just saved yourself!
If he has passed the talk test, set up a meet. Make this short and sweet. A drink. A cup of coffee. NOT a meal. A meal is WAY too much of a time commitment. Let’s be honest. We know in the first minute (or less) if we have any interest in getting someone naked. If it’s a “no” then be polite and only order water. Most guys are gentlemanly enough to pick up the tab and it’s uncool to make
him pay when he is never gonna see you again.
I kind of wish we could use Barney Stinson’s Lemon Law. Fans of How I Met Your Mother will get this reference. When Barney tried online dating he didn’t want to waste time on a date who showed up looking nothing like her pictures. He would immediately say “Lemon Law!” then get up and walk away. There have been several occasions where I’ve wanted to do this. Unfortunately, I’m not quite mean enough. Thoughts?
If it’s a yes or a maybe then yay! Chat. Get to know each other. Have fun. Be yourself. If you hit it off, great!! Do your thing.
If you are shy and have a hard time coming up with conversation topics here are some ideas:
– how is online dating going for you?
– what is your best/worst first date story?
– reference something from your emails or phone call.
– ask them to tell you about their kid or dog or job.
Then listen and respond accordingly. It’ll be great! Good luck and happy hunting! 🙂