Online Dating Part One: How To Make Your Best Profile

by CougarBaby

CougarBaby1

 

In today’s busy times, online dating is the way to go! Who has time to waste cruising for one guy when you can get online and juggle a dozen at a time? BUT you must have a good AND HONEST profile. Here are the steps to take to create a good profile:

1) PICTURES. Lots of them. As many as the site will allow. Your profile pic should be a headshot. Smile, don’t smile, smirk, laugh, whatever is comfortable for you and most accurately represents your personality. Then you need at least one long shot. This means full body. I can’t tell you how many guys (ALL OF THEM) have complained about this. They say, “Women are geniuses when it comes to making themselves look skinny when they’re not.” Please note, you do not have to be skinny to be attractive. You do have to be honest. The rest of the pictures should be fun candids of you doing your favorite things. If all of your pix are selfies, this sends out a red flag. “Doesn’t she do anything?” “Doesn’t she have friends to take pictures with?” etc. And know that they don’t need to be glamour shots. Guys are just as turned by you in jeans, a tank top and baseball cap as they are by you all dressed up. More so, generally. The final, and probably most important point here is…YOUR PICTURES MUST BE RECENT.

2) BIO. Make your statement short but sweet. If you had to describe yourself with one word, what would it be? What do you like to do? Be honest. Not everyone likes to rock climb, camp, fish, etc. If you like to go dancing, say so. Karaoke? Hiking? Sitting on your butt on the couch watching movies? Say so.

3) HIM. What/who are you looking for? Be honest. If you have a type, describe him. If you have definite “must haves” mention them. List form is never a bad idea. Deal breakers? Same goes.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to be upfront and honest. This will cut through a lot of bullshit. Not all of it, but most. It will also keep you from starring in their “bad date” stories. You’ll still get messages from guys who don’t fit your parameters but that’s because men often don’t read. Sigh. The good news is, you will know immediately if a guy read your profile because his email will tell you. Of all the many, many men I’ve communicated with over the last decade or so, the ones I had the best first dates with were almost always the ones whose opening email specifically mentioned how much he loved what I wrote.

Follow these tips and you’ll be off and running. I hopes this helps! Best of luck and happy hunting!

~Cougarbaby

 

CougarBaby1

 

5 comments

  1. Good post and I mostly agree.

    I would add two points. One of which I disagree with you on. Having a long laundry list of things you look for in a guy gives most guys a headache and makes a woman (IMO) come across as entitled. It is totally fine to talk about your type or general characteristics but if your list includes things like:
    – Must be between 6′ 1″ and 6′ 3″ (yes I have actually seen that one before)
    – Must make over $150,000
    – Must have long eyelashes
    – well you get the point…

    The other big “no-no” is listing all the things you don’t want all of which are obvious (e.g. liars, cheaters, cheapskates, physically abusive, etc.) as it just makes you sound bitter and cynical.

    The last big turn off is when a profile looks like “War and Peace.” If I have to scroll three pages to read your profile I already know you are going to be a high maintenance, drama, nightmare.

    Just my $0.02 for what it is worth.

    Keep up the great work!!!!

  2. I take a kind of “less is more” approach to my online profiles. I’ve just found that men don’t usually care much what you have to say anyway. Like, on OKCupid I have absolutely nothing written and men swarm me just due to the photos. I did take some of the tests on there and answer those questions and its amusing to me the lengths some men will go to read EVERY one of those when they can’t find info about you on your profile. I’m guessing a little mystery does the trick.
    On Plenty of Fish I wrote up a profile but I was sure to keep it vague. I just don’t like men to know too much about me up front, lol. They love that one too.
    I have a profile on a swinger site, that doesn’t show my face but has a few naked body shots. Well, of course that one gets a zillion responses, and I can tell many times men don’t read what I write because they will send me “winks” and I tell them specifically in huge bold letters TWICE in my profile that I can’t see who is sending the winks (I don’t have a paid membership) yet they do it anyway. Ah men…..

  3. Having limited or no text and just pics will definitely get you way more traffic. I tested this and got literally like 50 times as many messages when I had zero information in my profile and only pictures. It allows a guy to fill in the blanks about you with his own idealizations of what he hopes you will be. Telling who you are and what you’re looking for ruins the fantasy.

    But this is a quality or quantity issue. I’m not a fan of the “cast a wide net” approach personally…I think people should target their niche rather than trying to appeal to everyone. That’s why I’m a fan of blatantly listing all the polarizing things about you that some people will love and some will hate. Then you’ll only engage with those who already like your “type”. If someone isn’t going to like your personality then it’s better to just know right away, rather than having to put on an act the whole time you date, which is misery-making. I’m not doing online dating currently, but in the past I would state all the (arguably) bad things about me upfront, and I guarantee this turned me off to a LARGE number of men. But it also made a smaller portion of men who are my “niche” VERY interested in me and I never had any awful first dates…we were always at least marginally compatible.

    Of course if your pics are good enough, tons of guys will totally ignore whatever you write, even if you basically state that you enjoy murdering puppies, releasing toxic waste into rivers, and punching men in the balls.

  4. “I’ve just found that men don’t usually care much what you have to say anyway.” – Lovergirl

    “I can tell many times men don’t read what I write because they will send me “winks” and I tell them specifically in huge bold letters TWICE in my profile that I can’t see who is sending the winks (I don’t have a paid membership) yet they do it anyway.” – Lovergirl

    If they know how the site works, then they’re waiting, hoping you would make the move. LOL. They’re not “ready.”

    “That’s why I’m a fan of blatantly listing all the polarizing things about you that some people will love and some will hate.” – KryptoKate

    Whenever I’d skim through the right-hand “details” column on OKC and I’d see “dropped out” — that equals instant msg [copy-paste].

  5. Thanks for the support Dawson! And yes, having too long of a laundry list will definitely lower the traffic to your inbox. Sometimes this might be a good thing though. Keep the must-have’s short and sweet. For example, must love dogs, no vegetarians, child free. But maybe that’s just me. 😉

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