Millionaire Hunting

By Greygirl

Greygirl

During the summer in the ruthless, social climbing concrete jungle aka the Upper East side of Manhattan, I was a young girl with big ambitions to play in the “big leagues.” As I walked to my internship at a prestigious firm on Park Avenue, I swayed in my designer pumps at the sight of powerful, older men in their natural habitat – work. These men were leaders in their fields, tycoons, the 1% that made this city a Mecca for a trophy wife in training.

I was no Bergdorf blonde, more like Century 21 sales rack, but I desperately wanted to marry a man with a black American Express card. I had done one thing right already, I was in proximity to the millionaires buying morning coffee at the same Starbucks and frequenting the same trendy happy hour spots for cocktails.

What I learned with experience in NYC is that there are three types of millionaires and each requires a different game.

1. The Self-Made Millionaire. Enormously confident and aggressive, usually has a chip on his shoulder from overcoming the odds to build his wealth. Self-starter, curious and hates to be called “new money.” This breed can either be extremely frugal and drive a Toyota while living in a modest house or balls to wall flashy by wearing Gucci/Fendi/Versace everything and driving a Bentley.

The self-made millionaires are very aware of his SMV (societal market value) and is looking for a true trophy-wife. Only models, minor actresses or 9s or above need apply.

Sex appeal and physical beauty matters the most to this type.

He is usually a thrill of the hunt kind of guy, so giving him the ultimate pursuit is the way to go. Drop texts, wait a long time to return phone calls, and always have dates lined up with other men to make him want to be with you.

2. The Trust Fund Millionaire. This kid has been rich since birth, and even though his lineage may extend back to the Mayflower you won’t find him showing off his Tod’s loafers. “Old money” is snobby and elitist, you certainly need to work your credentials to get into his country club. Trust fund millionaires are more generous with their spending and like “exotic” or “interesting” women. He is usually bored to death or trying to piss off Daddy so any element of foreign or “wrong side of the tracks” girl may be beneficial. Also, you need to be hot but not in the ‘porn star fake boobs’ kind of way.

You need to be entertaining to him. Novelty!Β  Read interesting articles or books and share them with him, cook a homemade meal for him instead of take out and dazzle him with your knowledge of abstract expressionism at the museum.

3. MIT (Million-in-Training). Easily spotted on the college campus, he is the guy in the polo t-shirt who is president of his fraternity with a summer finance internship at an investment bank. He is all about appearances and status and intends to make his first million by 30. More than the other types, the MIT is looking for an equal- a girl who is not like the rest that will be the Hillary to his Bill, the Beyonce to his Jay-Z and will host perfect dinner parties at his perfect mansion while rearing his perfect kids.

You need to hit the books to snatch the MIT and break out the Emily Post etiquette book. Think Stepford wife, not Real Housewife in your attire with nude manicures, minimal makeup and lots of Ralph Lauren/ Lilly Pulitzer. You need to build value in his eyes by showing your competence and ability to navigate any social situation successfully. Best chances of snagging an MIT is on your college campus as they fly off the dating market rapidly.

And as with dating any millionaire, remember to look and act your best at ALL times.

Happy millionaire hunting, dolls!

~Greygirl

Greygirl

18 comments

  1. So did you marry a millionaire? This is interesting. I’m not quite sure what category I would put my recent millionaire guy into.
    He obviously had money growing up, because he went to the ritziest all boy school in town, where he played football. Yet he seems to have had to work his way up, he obviously wasn’t a trust fund baby. He also seems pretty frugal in some respects.
    Every time I see him he is in a different car. They are usually rentals and he said himself that he likes Toyotas haha. Yet, he will throw a fit if they don’t give him the nicest one at the rental car place.
    His “ex” wife (in quotes because I suspect they are still married) is not pretty at all. I’m not sure what he saw in her. Maybe someone who would just not give him any trouble and let him rule the roost.
    Anyway, I would never have dreamed myself to be someone who could land a millionaire, yet I have met several very wealthy guys. I guess it’s a combination of knowing my particular niche (successful black men) and being a classy and decently attractive girl, despite my hoodlum upbringing. Lol

  2. @Lovergirl I have not married my millionaire *yet* but that’s for another post. I feel like this post can be used for any high SMV man, wealth is not necessarily the only thing that determines high market value though it seems to be the most prized in our society. And you made an important point of knowing your niche! If you know what kind of men you do well with it is easier to capitalize on the advice on this blog to get to the top of the totem poll.

  3. Just curious, why on earth dof you desperately want to marry a millionaire? I mean, you do you, but having to serve as a status symbol for a man the way you described sounds incredibly unappealing. I’m honestly curious. Do you intend to stay married to the millionaire once you marry him, or are you hoping to divorce and take some of his funds? Do you expect him to be faithful to you? I would think not, certainly not for more than a few years. Is it just a matter of wanting to be rich and sending your kids to private schools, etc? I’d love to know the reasoning.

    You said that money is the most important factor in SMV, which I can see being true in NYC, a place that selects for the rich and aspirationally rich, but it definitely isn’t true where I live. Not like being rich would hurt a guy, but it isn’t more important than being fit, looking good, being funny, etc.

  4. @kryptokste Good questions. The reasoning is that I am attracted to powerful men. Especially when I was younger there was something incredibly appealing at getting validation from a wealthy and powerful man whether it be on my looks or the fact that I can fit into his world even if it is temporarily in the long run.

    Look, I am not silly I know my blog lost sets feminism back like 50 years but I’d be hard pressed to find a woman even in 2016 who does not to some extent change her i.dentity depending on the kind of men she is In relationship with. Moreover, a lot of women still have the “provider” complex and secretly yearn to be with rich men but perhaps do not have the opportunity or the balls to go for one. I am not saying it is for everyone but when I was living in NYC and wanted to be aspirationally rich I wanted “the best” and for me that meant a millionaire. Surely, you can appreciate why someone wants a pretty lifestyle. And yes, a lot of millionaires cheat or divorce their wives but do regular men.

    High risk, high reward.

  5. @ Grey girl Thanks, and btw, I am not looking askance at you, I’m honestly just curious because I don’t personally relate, but I know lots of girls DO want rich guys, and you’re smart and articulate so I thought you could help me explain why. And I don’t care if you’re setting feminism back, lol. Honestly, I’m glad there are girls who like all different kind of guys because that leaves more of my type for me. πŸ™‚
    I do understand wanting a powerful and protective guy. For me that manifests more as wanting like a military type guy though…tough, physically strong, courageous, and a badass, but not someone with $$. Rich guys have just never attracted me at all. I don’t associate them with being hot or powerful, I associate them with being big dorks who are sort of glorified accountant types in personality and usually hiding a weak out of shape body under their suit. Ha, I know that’s an unfair stereotype, it’s just the association in my mind. We could delve into Freudian or other reasons why I feel that way, but suffice it to say I work with lots of rich so-called high power guys and I think they’re mostly nerds. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I’m a nerd too. πŸ™‚ It’s just not my type.
    Also, I’m probably in the minority on this, but it actually makes me very uncomfortable if a man has more money than me. I don’t like the power differential. I only like power dynamics in the bedroom, I don’t like a guy who tries to exercise power over me with money outside of it. I think that’s probably not a majority view for women though I do think a significant minority feel that way.

    Anyway, thanks for the viewpoint, and your analysis is definitely spot on. I went to school with the preppy frat type and now I work with a mix of those and the chip on their shoulder self made man tyoes. And the one old money blueblood type I work with totally married an exotic girl from the wrong side of the tracks. They all went pretty close to the types you described.

    One more question: you acknowledge that most if not all these guys will eventually cheat. How will you react if you marry one and that happens? Hit the roof? Pretend not to know as long as he keeps it discrete? Again, just curious. Luke you said, plenty if not most guys cheat (or would), so it’s not like the question isn’t applicable to any matriage, it just seems like such an inevitability with a rich guy like that who has the money to arrange opportunities (hotels, out of town trips, etc) and young women like you constantly offering those opportunities. It would make me way too anxious, I wouldn’t be able to deal with that.

  6. @KryptoKate A couple of points. The. Military type is certainly a turn on in how bad ass they are and tough but I’ve found them difficult to deal with because you have to follow directions. Like military orders! And I’m more of the creative type so I find it stifling.
    As for the cheating, yes I agree with you there’s greater probability with these rich fucks however I would like to say I could be discreet and look the other way as a lot of high profile wives do but I have a jealousy threshold and emotional maturity of a five year old so probably would result in drama. The best scenario is to be married for like a decade, catch him cheating, hire a pit bull of a lawyer and contest the pre-nup for “emotional damages” or some shit. Then you get a nice settlement, some fuck you money and alimony for the kids and you spend your life at lunch or neiman Marcus and get a 25-year old hot boyfriend And have crazy sex with him.
    Not that I have not thought this out at all, lol!! But all marriages have an expiration date and I feel like it’s best to leverage being married to a high income to your advantage by getting a hefty settlement.
    If this sounds too calculating for you, its because it is. Like you mentioned you are not really attracted to the power dynamic of wealthy men but this is one of the ways women have been improving their social status for decades. Freud would def call this “daddy issues” πŸ™‚

  7. Once upon a time, I didn’t care if a guy had money. I was full of idealism and an “all we need is love” mentality. I’d call it a Disney mentality, but it’s not, because Disney girls only marry rich princes. πŸ˜‰
    Anyway, I married a guy that had no money. Granted, I though he had a future, seeing as we were both in college and he had just graduated. I didn’t see “money” as big on the list of worries for my future,
    All was well at first, before I came to the realization of just how unambitious my ex actually is. THAT is what made our lives difficult. When times were hard, he wasn’t making any particular effort to make life better for us.
    A man that is a millionaire, is attractive to ME because he has DRIVE and AMBITION. For this reason, I probably couldn’t date a trust fund type. If he’s got piles of money and he’s just wasting it and throwing it around I would be turned off.
    For me, I am more attracted to the man that is successful and a hard worker. Yes, I would like to indulge in the money aspect of it but some of that is more fantasy than reality. Reality is, when a man has so much money he is in control of it and as long as you are being supported by it, you are subject to that control.
    Like my recent millionaire guy was telling me about how he had some deal where he could see all the emails and texts on any of “his” phones and computers, including those of his child or his ex. I was like, I wouldn’t like that, it would feel like an invasion of my privacy. He said what are you talking about? Those are MY phones and computers, I’m the one paying for them… Yeah…

  8. So apparently I struck a nerve. I don’t know if you will agree with me ladies but something about the intersection of men, money, and sex that can elicit Strong polarizing responses from women.

    Whether drive or ambition, power dynamics in the bedroom or whatever tickles your fancy to say that you want to date a man for his money is still relatively taboo. Some of my post was meant to be tongue in cheek and aspirational, it is not often many of us get to live out our secret fantasies like rich princes coming to our rescue in our modern day fairytales.

    Once upon a time I thought that landing a rich husband would validate me as a woman, a measure of my societal market value. At the end of the day, it’s whatever turns you on, right?

  9. No nerves struck here! πŸ™‚ I just find it interesting to explore and discuss the topic. I definitely find wealth and power attractive, so that is easily understandable. I just know from experience, for me, that it’s not a stand alone. If he’s attractive to me AND rich, well hell, I’m in! πŸ˜‰

  10. Ah KrptoKate…you may be my one and only true love. Alas, too bad I am not the military type. I did wrestle in college. Does that get me any points? πŸ˜‰
    On this particular issue, there really are ONLY two types of women:
    1) Women that can afford to live the lifestyle they want and might want for child(ren) if they have any and
    2) Women that cannot afford to live the lifestyle they want and might want for their child(ren)
    In my experience, women that really don’t care what a guy earns are nearly 100% in the first group. Many other women care a great deal about what a guy makes but don’t want to sound like a golddigger so they say they are attracted to intelligence, power, ambition, etc. How many hard working, ambitious, intelligent men do you know that are poor? Not very many, hence my point.
    As always, KryptoKate hits the nail on the head…if you take money from a guy, you loose power. Simple as that. I have a teenaged daughter and I want her to grow up with KryptoKate’s view of the world. Find a guy that can take care of shit. In and out of the bedroom. Strong. Confident. Intelligent. Has his shit together. The military type (minus any PTSD of course) seems like a good fit. Between my daughter’s own success and mine, money won’t be an issue and she won’t have to give up control and can even exercise some of her own.

  11. What turns me on about military guys isn’t usually much to do with being “badass”. I don’t really care about the guns and stuff. It’s more like wow, he irons his socks! :::Swoon::: πŸ™‚ I like that they are disciplined and always seem to like to iron….maybe because those are qualities I lack. πŸ˜‰

  12. There are all kinds of military guys and I haven’t even known that many, so I don’t want to stereotype, but when I say that type turns me on, I do mean the badass (ie dominant), get shit done, courageous, disciplined aspect. I’ve been lucky to meet some that are also very intelligent and with a lot of integrity and kindness, too. I’m sure there are plenty without those qualities who are just belligerent or overbearing and that would suck. But for me, just simply meeting a guy who isn’t afraid of me, will stand up to me, and who can take care of shit in his own life and hypothetically if real shit went down is the turn on. The military reference was more as shorthand for that.

    Dawson Stone is correct. It’s my luxury to not be concerned with money bc I make enough to support the lifestyle I want. More money is always welcome, but if it comes from a man then at this point the loss of power is not worth whatever it would add to my lifestyle, so it’s not worth it. However, I also have pretty simple tastes and don’t need fancy things or luxury brands, so that makes it easier.

    The problem with a rich guy is that you are ultimately his employee and serving him at will subject to his enjoyment. I don’t like being an employee and definitely don’t want to be one for the guy I’m having sex with. People can romanticize it all they want but that’s the hard reality. I think most women would be shocked how much their romantic inclinations would change if they had enough of their own money to feel secure…these things are ore related than people think. It is VERY freeing to choose men you enjoy without that aspect tangled in, and you end up with much better men when you have the bargaining power. Everything in life comes down to bargaining power. However, I understand that having enough money is not possible or realistic for many women, or they weren’t raised to think it was possible so it’s not in the realm of the options they imagine. My dad did NOT have a “daddy’s little princess” type mentality with me so for me it was the opposite and I just never really even considered that it could be a viable and sustainable way of getting money to simply be cute and charming enough to elicit a man’s charity.

    @ Dawson If your daughter has inherited anything of your intelligence and approach to life, AND she has the “pussy power” of being a woman, then I’m sure she’ll be a force to be reckoned with and make you proud with her eventual world domination. πŸ˜‰

  13. @Kryptokate-
    Thing is, some of us don’t mind, and are turned on by, a man that has that kind of power “over” us. As long as he isn’t abusing that power, it can be hot. I feel like I would be turned off if I had more money than the guy I was with.
    One of my sisters has a live in boyfriend that has a job, but she has more money than he does. She thought he was great before they moved in together, but now she feels resentful. She hates that she is the one financing all the “fun” things they do, even though he pays for his share of the bills.
    She has said, in her own words, without reading all of these blogs, that she feels he is not “alpha” enough compared to other men. She feels like she is the one who is more driven and ambitious and he is not. It causes her to sort of look down on him. Not a good thing, in my opinion.

  14. I do think there is a HUGE difference in an independent woman that doesn’t need a man’s money for the lifestyle she wants to live (KryptoKate) and a women that is scrapping by but needs a man’s income to allow her to live the lifestyle she wants.
    In the first case where a woman is financially secure, I totally agree with LoverGirl that it comes down to a matter of taste. If I were a woman, I totally get wanting to be “taken care of.” There clearly is a biological component.
    Here is an interesting statistic. The bigger the income disparity where the man earns more, the LESS likely his wife is to cheat. For a man, the bigger the income disparity where the women earns more the MORE likely he is to cheat.
    I agree with LoverGirl. Most women will look down on a man that isn’t as successful as her.
    I believe the rule goes something like this:
    – A man will GENERALLY date laterally and up with regard to attractiveness and laterally and down with regard to intellect, income and success
    – A woman will GENERALLY date laterally and up with regard to intellect, income and success and laterally and down with regard to attractiveness
    It is not odd to see a doctor marry a secretary or a CEO marry a restaurant hostess but you almost never see it the other way around.

  15. Lol Dawson, your last sentence makes sense only if you awesome the doctor or CEO is a man. πŸ˜‰

    We’ll see how much of this is biological versus cultural. We’ve only had women with high paying jobs recently so it hasn’t all played out yet. All I know is that lots of other things that people claimed were biological turned out not to be once you gave people options. Money and accumulating resources didn’t exist in primal times, so it’s hard for me to believe women are biologically hardwired to be turned on by what is ultimately a new invention.

    That said, I admit that my views are likely at least partially informed by not having or wanting kids. Providing for oneself and providing for oneself AND children are entirely different things. I don’t have anyone else to worry about so it shouldn’t be a surprise that I’m not as concerned about ability to provide.

    I’ve also paid for “fun” things and for my share or more than my share and it has never bothered me in the slightest, it makes me happy to be able to do nice things for someone I like or love. From what I hear that isn’t true of most women and they will eventually feel taken advantage of. But again I think it’s different for women with kids because if they’re paying anything for a man, they’re likely to feel that it’s taking money away that they could be spending on their kids and likely to eventually get pissed about that.

  16. “For me that manifests more as wanting like a military type guy though…tough, physically strong, courageous, and a badass, but not someone with $$. Rich guys have just never attracted me at all. I don’t associate them with being hot or powerful.”
    @Kryptokate
    I really relate to this. I’ve had nearly 12 years of up close exposure to very wealthy men from all types of fields. I always thought they were attractive or cute but they didn’t ring my sexual bell. Mainly too aggressive or trust fund. I like them to be outdoorsy and industrious like Mcgyver.
    “More money is always welcome, but if it comes from a man then at this point the loss of power is not worth whatever it would add to my lifestyle, so it’s not worth it.”
    Yes, this is so true.

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