Have you ever had a first date that you thought went well but you never heard from the guy again? Does this happen often? Are you baffled by it? I’m sure you’ve spent hours discussing it with your friends yet still have not figured out why. This is probably because your friends don’t know date you. They only know “friend you.” OR (and this is a biggie) because they won’t step up and tell you the hard-to-hear truth. I will. I will tell you the truth based on countless interviews (ahem…dates) where I have asked the guy to tell me his worst first date story.
She looked NOTHING like her pics. Really ladies?? This is just an asshole move.
She was late. No call, no text, no good reason. Just late. This is SO RUDE and a HUGE turn off.
She wore WAY TOO MUCH make-up. I’ve actually heard the words, “She looked like she was going to fight Batman!” OMG hilarious!! Guys like to see you, not your make-up. They especially don’t like lipstick. They look at your mouth and think of kissing you. If it looks like you’ll smear red all over them, ew. They will also think of going to bed with you. Actual words, “My pillow case looked like a CSI crime scene after she left.” They wonder what you really look like. “What will she look like after a shower? Will I recognize her?” So anyway, go easy. In this case, less is more.
She wore WAY TOO MUCH perfume. Please don’t waft in on a cloud of scent. Most guys would rather smell you straight out of the gym than straight out of a perfume bath. And if you are trying to cover up cigarette smell? Guess what? The jig is up. Now you’ve doubled down.
She wouldn’t shut up about her ex. No guy wants to hear about your ex. Maaaaybe down the road a bit, but still not in great detail.
All she did was bitch. About her friends, about her job, about her life. Ugh! Let’s keep it happy, okay? If you have nothing happy to talk about, then perhaps you’re not quite ready to be dating.
She got hammered. Do I really need to explain why this is bad? Wait. One thing. How stupid are you?? Seriously!? You don’t know this guy. Getting drunk with a stranger is just asking for trouble.
She dressed really slutty. Even if the purpose of the date is a hook-up, he still wants you to look like you might not be willing to bang any guy there.
She ordered really expensive stuff. Don’t. Just…don’t.
I’m going to close with a story that I only heard once, but that I found so ridiculous I simply must share. Apparently this gal went on and on (and on) about her friend’s band. She actually whipped out her earbuds, forced them into the guy’s ears, then held them in place while her favorite song played.
“She raped my ears!!” He was so appauled that when she finally released him he told her he had to go to the bathroom, then ran (yes ran) for the door and left her there.
So ask yourself, “Do I do any of these things?” And be honest. If you do, then perhaps you could modify your behaviour a bit. I understand that you’ve gotta be you, but…
Just try to pay attention. Ask yourself, “Is he interested in this?” Is he focused on you while you talk or is he looking around, fiddling with his keys or his phone or whatever. If he isn’t asking follow up questions or otherwise getting involved then it’s time to change subjects. Ask him something about him. If he still isn’t “present” then it is probably time to end the date.
And guys, if you’re reading this, it applies to you too. Hopefully minus the make-up and slutty clothes. ;-P
Anyhoo. Hope this helps. Good luck out there!!