Have you ever wondered why some women seem to attract constant attention from men, even though she may not be your idea of pretty, or have a perfect figure? Do you ever wonder what exactly they see in HER? Everyone has different tastes, but there are some women that just draw men in like flies. How do they do it?
I want to let you in on a little secret today, because I happen to be one of those women. At times, it has even baffled ME, because I’m not exceptionally beautiful, or young (I’m getting dangerously close to 40!) and I don’t even dress like a slut. I’m in decent shape for someone with kids, but I’m definitely not perfect. Yet somehow, almost every man I meet gets pulled in like a magnet.
It’s almost comical how often I get hit on and some of my girlfriends and sisters have expressed jealousy over that fact. They are like, “How come YOU always get hit on and I don’t??” Sometimes, it just doesn’t seem to make sense.
I’ve been out with women that I think are more physically attractive than myself, yet I was the one getting approached more often by men. When I was younger some of my friends would accuse me of “batting my eyelashes” at them. More recently a friend expressed exasperation at having to fend off all the guys whenever she hangs out with me. Sigh…what can I say? I’m a natural flirt and I can do it all without saying a word!
Maybe by now you are getting frustrated, thinking, okay Lovergirl, that’s all well and good for YOU but how is that going to help ME? Well, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to this subject lately and I think I have it figured out! What’s even better is that it’s something super simple and that ANYONE and EVERYONE can do!
Of course, I am speaking specifically to women here, because the things that attract men and that attract women are not always the same, not in our current culture and world. As women, even in this day and age, we generally prefer to let men be the initiators and approachers in the mating dance. Sometimes we even feel “stuck” because we don’t want to seem too forward or aggressive, showing interest in a man that we have taken notice of, and that’s okay!
I’ll admit that I am a woman that does not like to take the initiative with men. I want to be the one who is being pursued. I love it when a man makes the first move! To me it shows masculinity and that is HOT coming from a guy, but not a position I want to put MYSELF in.
SO, what can I do to capture a man’s attention while still retaining my feminine allure? It’s easy girls, and it’s all in the way you move….your LIPS. Okay, maybe there’s a little bit more to it but that’s the first part, your SMILE. Nothing radiates feminine energy across the room like a beaming SMILE across your face, especially if it is directed at a particular man, but even if it’s not.
You can be smiling at small children, a kitten, the beautiful sunshine and flowers you stopped to smell on the way to work, heck even if you are smiling at a little old lady, or another man, your smile will draw men into you. Everyone loves a smiling woman, but especially men!
Don’t believe me? Try this at home. I don’t care what you look like, how many pounds you need to lose, or even if you have crooked teeth. Go to your nearest grocery store and walk through it beaming like a sunbeam. Think of whatever you need to think of to put a smile on your face. Put your mind in your most daydreamy, happy place and do it until you light up like a Christmas tree. Look at every person you see and give them a smile, and see how many stop to talk to you! Even if you are just laughing to yourself at how ridiculous it is to try this- give it a whirl!
I smile A LOT. Not that I am always happy, because believe me, I have been through hell and high water in my life, but somehow I manage to remember and focus on the little things that make me smile, fairly often. Maybe its the words my grandmother always said to me as a child “you look ten times prettier when you are smiling than when you frown” or maybe its just because I’ve learned in life that it brings out a positive reaction in people.
I currently work a sales job. I managed to work my way up to the top salesperson at the company within a matter of months, with no previous experience in this particular line of work. You wanna know what people say to me all the time? Random strangers, who know nothing about me, tell me what a great personality I have and how I always SMILE, and that it’s attractive. Men, especially, say things like this to me on an almost daily basis! Did I mention that’s often the first comment I get on dating sites, that men love my smile or that I am smiling in most of my pictures? They definitely notice!
It’s not just me either. I was working last night at a venue where there were many other salespeople. Across the room I noticed a particular young woman who had flocks of people, and especially men, coming to query about her product. She looked shining, glowy, radiant- because she was SMILING at everyone in her path.
Just the other day I was walking down the street in the heart of the city with a big smile on my face. It was just so beautiful outside and I felt so happy to be living here. Plus, I was on my way to pick up some free tickets to the circus. I was off in my own world and unbeknownst to me, one of my lovers was watching. He texted me to ask what I was doing downtown. He was with a client, working and couldn’t come speak to me but he was hounding and hounding me for a meetup later that day. I don’t doubt for a minute that he was turned on by the shiny, happy vibe I was radiating. It seems irresistible to men.
Think about all the songs you’ve heard sung about a woman’s smile, or all the famous book and television characters of the past with sunny dispositions. They charmed and were loved by, everyone. I’ve read of feminists complaining that women are expected to smile more often than men and perhaps it seems “sexist” but the reason they want us to is they love it and are affected in a positive way. I don’t see it as a bad thing.
Even though men can smile too, they don’t tend to do it as often. Many times, men walk about with a serious expression on their face. What brings them out of their heads and into the moment, is often the emotion expressed by women around them, especially HAPPY emotions. Women often don’t realize that we have the power to affect men so easily. We don’t stop to think that a simple smile can brighten someone’s entire day but sometimes it does!
Now you may be thinking, well, I just don’t feel like smiling all the time. I have a stressful, busy life and a lot on my plate (don’t we all!). Or maybe you feel down in the dumps because your love life isn’t where you want it to be. I’m not saying you should ignore your true feelings or be fake. Anyone can suss out a fake smile. You aren’t really fooling anyone.
It’s okay to be depressed sometimes or feel negative emotions. I’m not saying any of that is unacceptable. I’m only saying that when you want to draw someone in, the first step is to look straight at them, and SMILE. Even if you are some totally emo, goth chick and you suddenly smile at a man, it is going to make an impact. Maybe even more so since its out of character and catches him by surprise.
I’ve found that the absolute EASIEST way to get a man you want to approach you is to look at him and catch his eye, smile, quickly look away, and look back up him as though you are embarrassed…then of course you look away again. After that ignore him until he comes to talk to you. Maybe look from under your eyelashes, in a shy sort of way (is that “batting your eyelashes”? sort of/kind of, just a little bit? lol). If he’s got any guts and is remotely attracted to you, there is a good chance he’ll approach you now. Its worth a try and you have nothing to lose. Let me know how it goes!!