5 Things Guys Say That You Should Ignore

by KryptoKate

Kryptokate

Men say a lot of things that aren’t true, even when they’re not lying. Everyone does. When you begin to pay attention to what people do rather than what they say, humans begin to make a lot more sense, and to behave more predictably. They’re only confusing because they say so many things that aren’t true, and many people expect people to do what they say.

There are two big areas where people are most prone to saying things that aren’t true, even though they think they’re telling the truth.

First, areas where people are simply ignorant and don’t have the proper information to know what they’re talking about.  And second, when people try to make predictions about their future behavior, which people are notoriously terrible at doing.  And that is most especially true when it comes to predictions of future behavior that involve “primal” drives and feelings, such as things surrounding sex, love, and food.

So, given these general tendencies that are applicable to everyone, here’s some specific things guys say that usually not true.  In some cases they may end up being true, but it’s uncertain enough that you should just take any of these statements as meaningless and feel free to ignore them:

1. I Don’t Like Makeup

This is one of those statements where guys are speaking from ignorance and simply don’t know what they’re talking about. All guys prefer a woman’s face with makeup, because all women (indeed all people) look significantly better with makeup. There is not a human who has ever walked the planet that doesn’t look better with skillfully applied makeup.

When a guy says he doesn’t like makeup, what he means is that he doesn’t look artificial looking makeup – i.e. colors that don’t appear in nature or thick, caked on makeup that makes you notice the makeup rather than the face. He’s also making a value statement that he doesn’t like the IDEA of makeup. He doesn’t like the idea of a woman painting her face to look different, which is reasonable. But if you show him actual women with skillful, natural makeup versus no makeup at all, he is going to pick the made-up woman every time. Most of the time, he doesn’t even know how to tell if she’s wearing it, unless he spends a LOT of time with women and sees them both before and after getting dolled up.

2. I Don’t Like Plastic Surgery/Breast Implants

One again, what he’s really saying here is that he doesn’t like the IDEA of plastic surgery. He doesn’t like the IDEA of someone cutting themselves open and spending a bunch of money just to look better. And because he doesn’t like the IDEA of it, he also thinks that boob jobs and plastic surgery always looks like the most obvious and fake results.  But in reality, he’s totally unaware of good plastic surgery.  He thinks he hates boob jobs because he doesn’t like the over-inflated, fake look he sees on Pam Anderson or a porn actress. But he doesn’t realize that plenty of women like Kate Upton, Scarlett Johansson, etc, also have boob jobs but they’re well done and fit their body type. He doesn’t realize that literally every single Hollywood actress he knows has had a nosejob. He simply isn’t aware of all the good plastic surgery around him so he says he hates it. I know several women with amazing boob jobs that no one can tell are fake, and guys are always telling them how amazing their natural breasts are and how much they hate implants.

3. I Would Never Cheat on a Woman

The reality is that *everyone* would cheat under the right circumstances. The “right circumstances” means a sure thing opportunity with an extremely attractive person and zero chance of getting caught. But most people who have never cheated think they would never cheat. This is one of those things that people can’t understand until they’ve been placed in a situation where they are actually tempted. And then they always say the same thing, which is that they never thought they would do such a thing, and they’ve always hated cheaters, and they’re surprised at themselves.

No one can predict, in a normal state, how they’ll react in a “hot” state. They can’t predict how they would react if they ended up in a secluded situation with a smoking seductress who wants them bad and wants to keep it secret, anymore than they can predict how they would react if a bear started chasing them in the woods. These are primal situations where one’s body takes over and your rational mind really isn’t in charge anymore at all. What someone says they’ll do is merely a reflection of their values, but really doesn’t correlate well with how their body will react at all. For more on this, see:

http://people.duke.edu/~dandan/Papers/PI/Heat_of_Moment.pdf

4. MFF Threesomes are Awesome, MMF Threesomes are Gross

Disclaimer: I’ve never had a threesome and probably never will. However, I’ve heard many other people report back to me after trying them. And across the board, men are disappointed by their threesomes with two women. Instead of playing out like their porn fantasy, it turns out they have to worry about managing the women’s emotions, being fair among both, and doing twice as much work. It ends up being more anxiety-inducing than erotic. There is an exception if a man is brought into a threesome with two women who are mostly in to each other and just bring him in as a third, but that’s not the way it usually happens. In the more common situation where a guy ends up in a threesome with one woman who he knows and another who is “new”, it ends up being way too much emotional work.

On the other hand, I know many men who have proclaimed to think that the idea of a MMF threesome is disgusting and don’t want to be anywhere near another guy’s dick. Yet for some reason, they ended up involved in one after a bunch of drinking or some unexpected situation where they got drawn in. And across the board, they all enjoyed it much more than they thought they would. There’s a good reason, which is that men get harder and produce more sperm when there’s another man, because of sperm competition. So although the idea is emotionally upsetting or repulsive, most men will be aroused in a situation where a woman is having sex with more than one man because unconsciously their balls are telling them they need to out-compete the other guy’s sperm. So once again you end up with a situation where a guy can’t predict how his body will react.

Unless a guy has actually been in threesomes – and more than once –  I wouldn’t bother listening to what he thinks about them because it probably doesn’t bear much relation to how they actually play out.

5. I Will Always Love You

It’s possible this will be true. But no one has the capacity to predict whether or not they’ll love someone in 5, 10, or 50 years. Anyone who says this is really just making a statement about how strongly they feel RIGHT NOW. But feelings change. The whole reason we have a million songs about loving someone forever, and another million ways to try to prove it, is precisely because romantic love is one of the most fleeting and fickle of emotions, and people therefore require a ton of reassuring. No man can predict how he’ll feel about a woman in 20 years…he doesn’t even know who she’ll be in 20 years, or who he’ll be.  So take this statement with a huge grain of salt.

The only thing one can predict with certainty is that everything changes.

~KryptoKate

Kryptokate

9 comments

  1. I have noticed these in men as well. Another one I might add is, “I’d never have sex with (insert standard here: fat chicks, bitches, crazy women, etc). Most men have preferences, but I have observed most of them will make exceptions when no one is looking. Of course the average guy wants everyone to think he would never sleep with a fat girl, but if he’s single and hasn’t had any for a while, he would definitely take the fat girl home with him.

  2. 1. What the guy means is I don’t like make up rubbing off of you and on to me and then later when I rub my mouth on my shirt sleeve it has lip stick on it!!!!!!!Yes it looks nice if it is semi permanent and water proof.
    2. Yes breast implants can LOOK nice but they drastically reduce PLAY VALUE and in some cases make the woman sick or even DEAD. Same with nipple piercings DON’T just don’t……
    Having said all of that I have always had a crush on Pam Anderson but the chances of me ever playing with her are slim to none!
    also no tattoos on your breasts, just don’t…
    3. I am sort of logical realistic guy. It is much more work to find someone new.
    If you can do what I want often enough I don’t need to cheat.
    4. I have only had one shot at a FFM threesome and I chose one and told the other one about my choice for the reasons you mentioned.
    I don’t have the experience but I am not buying your theory on MMF threesomes, I don’t like sharing…
    5 I Will Always Love You IF YOU DON’T CHANGE!!!!!!!
    They always do but it has taken as much as 9 and a half years once….

  3. I definitely agree with the makeup one, most men have no clue how much makeup many women are wearing to look “natural”. I always roll my eyes when I hear this. Plastic surgery, yeah again, they don’t like an unnatural look perhaps (though some men will admit they do) but many times you can’t tell. Some men may keep their word about not cheating, but I was one of those WOMEN who said I’d never cheat and then found myself in a situation where I did. I really believed it when I was saying it too. I know better now.
    I don’t know if I agree about the threesomes. Some people really do know what they would or wouldn’t be comfortable with and others might be surprised. You never know until you try. Personally, as a woman, I’ve preferred the MFM threesomes I’ve been in to an “almost” threesome with another woman. I’ve been in group sex situations though that were fun at the time and had a fairly equal amount of men and women. I’m not keen on the idea of a FMF threesome but I know men who love them and have been in many. I just know MYSELF and that I like the attention focused on ME. The last guy I was seeing has been in a zillion gangbangs involving one or a couple women and lots of men. He said he preferred that to FMF because women have too many insecurities and get jealous, which is probably true in many cases. As with anything, fantasy doesn’t always live up to reality.
    I don’t know about the 5th. I know I will always love my children, no matter what. So it might be possible to say that about a man, or for a man to say that about a woman. It depends on your definition of love. It’s not possible to say you will be “in love” forever, maybe, but if you mean love as in deeply caring about another person, that I think can stay with a person forever. I’m not to forever yet, but I still CARE about some of the men I’ve loved in the past. I’m just not in love with them anymore.

  4. On the makeup and plastic surgery (and predicting the future) counts — I couldn’t agree more.

    As for the rest… I think it’s case by case. There are definitely people out there (men AND women) who have enough ego invested in not cheating that they take care not to put themselves into the kind of exceptional circumstances that would tempt them to lapse. Likewise — MFF/MMF preference is a very personal thing for guys, in my experience, and I’d say more than half the guys I’ve talked to who’ve had MMF would have -preferred- a one-on-one scenario with that particular woman. A lot depends on who is involved.

    Really enjoyed the article, though.

  5. 1. Men want a woman that will look good without makeup, knowing full well that she will look even better with skillfully applied makeup. Men aren’t idiots. If we are going to even consider reproducing with a woman we need to know what her face actually looks like. Even if we are just dating, we still want to know what the “canvas” looks like without the “paint.” To Buzz’s point, lipstick is a real pet peeve for a lot of guys. We end up wearing it and men hate that shit.
    2. Men don’t really care about plastic surgery so long as it isn’t noticeable. I would say that 90% of men can’t spot a nose job and we could care less if it is real of fake…even if we are told it is fake. With tits, its different. “Circus boobs” are fine for a night but most guys don’t want to date a women with what are obviously big, fake tits. With that said, a decent boob job that is proportional to a woman’s body is fine for most guys. But no guy is really fooled by fake tits once you get naked and they are usually not nearly as fun to play with as real tits.
    3. I mostly agree. To LoverGirl’s point there are men (actually true for both men and women) that won’t cheat because their faithfulness is tied to their identity. With that said, they are a very small minority and even they aren’t being faithful because they want to be.
    4. This is the only one where I totally disagree. In my inner circle of 10-12 guys only one had a MFM threesome and of all of us he is the most sexually “fluid” of the group. It isn’t about being homophobic but most guys just aren’t that comfortable being that close to another naked guy. The one guy I know directly and a few I know through acquaintances that have had MFM threesomes are bi or bi-leaning IMO. I can imagine it happening but to Hitori’s point, if a guy is doing it it is likely because he wants to be with the girl…not because sharing her with another dude excites him.
    With regard to FMF threesomes there is a big difference between having a threesome and fucking two women at the same time. If the women are doing things with each other (then it is actually a threesome) and both are truly bi it can be an amazing experience. If only one is bi or they aren’t into each other then it is more of a pain in the ass then it is worth.
    5 Agreed. You might mean it when you say it but you don’t REALLY mean it.

    @Ashley
    I have yet to meet a guy that says he won’t fuck “bitches, crazy women.” Those can be the best kind especially if only for a night. And while most guys will hook up with a chick that is thicker than he normally would if it falls in his lap, he still won’t do the really fat chick.

  6. Well done KryptoKate — lots of good points made very well. We all constantly hear both men & women saying so much BS like “never this” and “always that” and “I really want X’ (when they go years doing nothing to get it). Also, most people are very reluctant to face (much less admit) when they don’t really know some things. Proclaiming strong certainty seems to give people a feeling they love, even when they have no basis for being so sure about it. Ugh.
    KryptoKate here’s a funny quote for you from Yogi Berra:
    “It’s tough to make predictions — especially about the future.”

  7. @Dawson Stone- I know probably more than the average amount of guys who are into MFM threesomes (because I sleep with single men in the swinger community). I wouldn’t say they are necessarily “bi-leaning” at all. Many of them are adamant about no bi stuff. Some are just super confident in their own sexuality and not worried about it. Others, maybe they do have bi-leaning, but many mfm threesomes don’t have a bi element at all. Men don’t have to be touching in any way to have a threesome with a woman. I’ve had guys tell me that they just like seeing a woman be “slutty” and handle all these guys (like during a gangbang). So that part must be turning them on.

  8. @LoverGirl
    In the swinger community (not one I have any experience with) you are probably 100% right. In the general population, I stand by my assertion.

  9. 1. The main thing with the makeup is similar to over-styled hair. It makes the woman less touchable.
    2. You’re wrong about the implants. This varies a lot between men. Most guys are breast men and think bigger is better. These guys don’t mind implants. To me, breasts have more of a tactile than visual appeal and bigger is not better. Maybe some implants are really subtle and unnoticeable but for me at least, the best they can be is neutral, while they’re usually a detriment both visually and physically.
    3. I’ll never cheat on a woman because I won’t promise monogamy. If I did, I know I could keep it and would stay out of tempting situations, but I agree that women shouldn’t believe a man when he says he never would.
    4. I’ve never had a threesome but MFM sounds more exciting to me. I’m not bi or anything but I’m not homophobic either and I have something of a slut fetish so the idea of spit-roasting or tag-teaming (or even gang-banging) a woman turns me on. I think the idea of a threesome as sex plus voyeurism appeals to me more than sex with 2 people at once.
    5. “I love you forever” means “right now, I love you forever.”

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